Mare Simone, is a certified Tantra Educator, “sex surrogate” who has dedicated her working life to helping men, women and couples overcome their sexual problems.
As a qualified sex therapist, she has given lessons in love
to more than 10,000 clients over the past 23 years.
And while she estimates she has had penetrative sex with
1,500 of them, she insists there is nothing illegal about what she does.
Mare says: “I earn my living by sleeping with other women’s
husbands or boyfriends. But I am in no way a prostitute as sex surrogacy is
legal, as long as it is done in a therapeutic and healing atmosphere. People
are paying for counseling and to cure their problems — not sex! I am helping to improve and change the sex
lives of thousands of men, which means I am also helping improve the sex lives
of their wives and girlfriends.”
“Some women become baby surrogates because they want to help
women who can’t have children. In the same way, I feel drawn to helping others
have an intimate sex life. My job is so fulfilling and enjoyable. Seeing my
customers leave with a new-found sexual confidence is a wonderful sight.”
Single Mare, from Chelsea, West London, holds around five
sessions A DAY and sees people from all walks of life. She says: “My clients
are all ages, shapes, sizes and professions. They have either been recommended
to see me by a sex therapist or former client or they seek me out through
sexual surrogate organizations. The men
generally need help with erection and premature ejaculation problems or have
been sent by their wives because they weren’t pleasing them in bed. Before they
see me, they all have an STD test, and must always use a condom when seeing
me. I also have some women come to me.
Their problems are usually that they can’t climax or have had bad lovers. I
show them how to pleasure themselves and make them love their bodies.
“Some visit me for a few sessions, while others have around
12, depending on the extent of their problems.
All of my sessions start in the same way. We start by chatting while I
caress their hands to make them feel relaxed and confident with me. During the next few sessions I move to giving
them back and shoulder massages, so the client relaxes further while talking
about their problems. Following that, we
do a mirror exercise. This is where the client and I will both take off our
clothes and look at our bodies in the mirror.
Usually, they feel very timid about their bodies and find it difficult
to look at themselves. But when they realize I am not judging them, they begin
to open up and feel confident. At that stage I move on to front body massages.
I take over ‘down below’, showing them how they should be touching
themselves. Finally, it’s time to put
everything into practice. This is the stage of lovemaking, so they can learn
how to control themselves and solve their sexual problems.”
“My job is basically to make people realize their problems
are not just physical. They are in the mind and have a lot to do with
self-confidence.”
Mare has not always been so sexually open. At the age of 19,
she was defiled by a male friend after accepting a late-night lift home from a
party. Too afraid to report the attack,
she lost her confidence in men and sex. When she married her first husband,
Victor, ten years later, she still could not bear to be touched intimately.
She recalls: “My fear of sex put a huge strain on my
marriage and I knew deep down it was due to the rape. Overnight I went from being outgoing to being
introverted. When I did date, I found making love scary and traumatic. When I married Victor, our sex life was never
great and after four years we divorced but we have remained friends. It was then that a friend recommended I start
reading about tantric sex and sexual surrogacy.
Learning about this unknown world of sexual healing made me feel that
there was hope for me to get my sexual confidence back.”
Mare decided to take a four-day course in sex therapy, where
she learnt about tantric sex, an ancient Hindu practice that concentrates on a
slower form of sex. “It was fascinating and during the course I also realized,
for the first time, that the rape I had endured a decade before was not my
fault. I could enjoy sex without feeling dirty, ashamed or guilty.”
Now, Mare spends most of her time working in the US, where
she is inundated with clients.
She says: “I see about four or five people a day and charge
around £100 for a session. Sometimes I
will have sex with a husband in front of his wife, to show them both how to be
more sensitive lovers. Often, couples find just talking openly to a stranger
about the problems in their love life helps in the bedroom.”
Although she is proud of her job, she still finds it
difficult to tell friends and family about her work. She also does not discuss
it with any potential boyfriends.
She says: “I usually tell them I am a yoga teacher, until I
trust them enough. Some can’t cope with it and run a mile, while others simply
find it fascinating and are impressed. A
few trusted friends know what I do but my family would be horrified to hear
about my daily life. As part of my work,
I regularly do sexual surrogacy tours, travelling the world, helping people
with their most intimate problems. The
last time I was in London I saw 30 clients, some who had booked me months in
advance. It’s amazing how many people in
the UK desperately want help with their sex lives, but have no idea where to
turn. There are many sex surrogates in
the US but they are extremely rare in the UK.
“People have to understand that intimate sex sometimes has
to be learned. It does not come naturally to some people. The stress of modern life can cause problems
and it’s my job to fix that. Since I
started surrogacy work, I have seen more than 10,000 clients and estimate that
I have had penetrative sex with around 1,500 men. I continue to see clients
weekly. “Witnessing the men and women I
help make huge improvements and feel confident about their bodies is wonderful.
“In the 20 years I have been doing this job, I have never
felt miserable about going to work. I love what I do and have no plans to
retire within the next ten years.
“I am a sexual healer and so proud and happy that I found my
dream job.”
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